The Unspoken Realities of Adulthood: A Psychological Perspective

Adulthood is not just about age—it is about understanding humans. It is the stage where you finally see through the masks people wear, where you realize that kindness is not just a virtue but a necessity. Every human craves validation, seeks superiority, and wants to feel important. Carl Jung put it aptly—life is a constant struggle for priority.

Have you ever noticed how even the simplest debates turn into battles of ego? The winner walks away feeling triumphant as if they have won a grand prize, while the loser carries an unspoken wound. When I understood this, I stopped debating. I learned to simply say, "Yes," "You're right," "Okay fine," and move on. Because why waste energy explaining something to someone who lacks the capacity or willingness to understand? Knowledge is not for display—it is for personal growth.

The Faces People Wear

People are double-faced. It is not pessimism; it is reality. A person who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. A colleague is not your friend; they are your working partner. A boss is not your companion; he is your kind teacher—if you are lucky. Office boys and helping staff? They are not your siblings on duty; they are professionals with their own struggles, deserving of respect, but never to be mistaken as family.

And then, there is money. You only understand its value when you don’t have it—when it slips through your fingers without your consent, leaving you powerless. A financially stable adulthood is not about greed; it is about survival. Sadhguru once said, "Your old age should be healthy and wealthy, or you will live in a cycle of problems." And how true is that?

Cultural Traps: The Price Women Pay

In subcontinental culture, daughters are expected to be obedient, kind, and ever-sacrificing. But the same society that demands their obedience spoils their grooms with dowries, as if selling off their daughters in exchange for approval. And when that same daughter, bound by tradition, is unable to help financially, she is branded as a burden, a disappointment.

Marriage, too, is a calculated transaction. If you are going to marry off your daughter, ensure that she is given to a person—not a burden in disguise. A husband should be a supporter, not just an owner. And for those who remain unmarried, life is no easier. Unmarried and aging women are bullied, harassed, and humiliated by their own families, friends, and society. As if their worth is measured only by the presence of a husband, as if their value expires with time.

The Brutal Truth

Life is not a fairy tale. People will use you, disrespect you, and discard you when you are no longer useful to them. This is why emotional and financial independence is not an option; it is a necessity. Choose your battles wisely. Choose your people even more wisely. Because in the end, you are the only one truly looking out for yourself.

Adulthood teaches you that not everyone deserves your explanations. Some people are just not worth the words.

And that… is okay.

Adulthood is not just about age—it is about understanding humans. It is the stage where you finally see through the masks people wear, where you realize that kindness is not just a virtue but a necessity. Every human craves validation, seeks superiority, and wants to feel important. Carl Jung put it aptly—life is a constant struggle for priority.

Have you ever noticed how even the simplest debates turn into battles of ego? The winner walks away feeling triumphant as if they have won a grand prize, while the loser carries an unspoken wound. When I understood this, I stopped debating. I learned to simply say, "Yes," "You're right," "Okay fine," and move on. Because why waste energy explaining something to someone who lacks the capacity or willingness to understand? Knowledge is not for display—it is for personal growth.

People are double-faced. It is not pessimism; it is reality. A person who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. A colleague is not your friend; they are your working partner. A boss is not your companion; he is your kind teacher—if you are lucky. Office boys and helping staff? They are not your siblings on duty; they are professionals with their own struggles, deserving of respect, but never to be mistaken as family.

And then, there is money. You only understand its value when you don’t have it—when it slips through your fingers without your consent, leaving you powerless. A financially stable adulthood is not about greed; it is about survival. Sadhguru once said, "Your old age should be healthy and wealthy, or you will live in a cycle of problems." And how true is that?

In subcontinental culture, daughters are expected to be obedient, kind, and ever-sacrificing. But the same society that demands their obedience spoils their grooms with dowries, as if selling off their daughters in exchange for approval. And when that same daughter, bound by tradition, is unable to help financially, she is branded as a burden, a disappointment.

Marriage, too, is a calculated transaction. If you are going to marry off your daughter, ensure that she is given to a person—not a burden in disguise. A husband should be a supporter, not just an owner. And for those who remain unmarried, life is no easier. Unmarried and aging women are bullied, harassed, and humiliated by their own families, friends, and society. As if their worth is measured only by the presence of a husband, as if their value expires with time.

Life is not a fairy tale. People will use you, disrespect you, and discard you when you are no longer useful to them. This is why emotional and financial independence is not an option; it is a necessity. Choose your battles wisely. Choose your people even more wisely. Because in the end, you are the only one truly looking out for yourself.

Adulthood teaches you that not everyone deserves your explanations. Some people are just not worth the words.

And that… is okay. 

Thank you 🙏 😊