Welcome to Reema Ayub's Writings

It's a research based blog (research in real life and social media by genuine contacts) By a Clinical Psychologist & Researcher of South Asian Societies > Disclaimer: This is not a hate piece. It is a personal observation based on research, professional experience, and reflection. The intention is not to demean any nation or its people, but to promote honest dialogue for societal growth and healing. ----------------------- As a clinical psychologist, I’m trained to observe patterns—not just in individuals, but in entire societies. Patterns that repeat. Patterns that hurt. Patterns that get denied in the name of national pride. Being a Pakistani, I have often been told that pointing out what’s wrong with Pakistan is betrayal. That if I critique my country, I must be comparing it to India—and if I compare it to India, then somehow the conversation becomes a competition of "who's worse?" But that binary misses the point entirely. Let’s start here: What is the diff...

In many families across Pakistan, marriage is sustained not by mutual respect or emotional fulfillment, but by duty—particularly for the sake of children or family dignity. Women, in particular, are expected to bear the burden of this endurance, often sacrificing their own emotional wellbeing for the sake of family honour. While this may appear noble on the surface, the silent victims of such unresolved emotional environments are often the children. Imagine a child growing up hearing their father repeatedly say to their mother, "I will divorce you." Or the same child, holding onto hope, reciting Surah Kausar in desperation—not for their own needs, but praying for their parents’ love to rekindle. This is not spiritual growth. This is emotional burden beyond a child’s capacity. It leaves deep imprints that can manifest later in life as anxiety, depression, attachment issues, self-esteem problems, and even occupational dysfunction. It is important to understand that mental healt...

In the realm of human behavior and mental well-being, one truth persists across all borders: people seek meaning and value in what they do. When survival is at stake or purpose becomes unclear, individuals adapt, simplify, and make difficult choices. Often, those choices include accepting any form of work—not because they lack education or aspiration—but because they want to invest their energy where it can yield the most psychological and financial return. From a psychological lens, no job is “too small.” This belief is not rooted in idealism but in the cognitive and emotional reality of survival. Even a PhD holder may find peace and satisfaction in manual labor if the exchange is fair: effort for compensation. Work becomes not just a means to earn but a pathway to dignity, structure, and autonomy. In such moments, what matters is not the title but the transaction of value—“I work, I get paid.” There are countries and systems that reflect this transactional clarity. Places where the c...

In my clinical experience, one of the most empowering traits a person can develop is self and rights awareness. This isn't just a theoretical idea—it's a foundation for mental well-being, emotional safety, and empowered decision-making in both personal and professional spheres. Let’s break down how self-awareness and knowing your rights protect you from psychological damage, manipulation, and emotional exploitation. Professional Grounding:  Know Who You Are: Understanding your qualifications, skills, and personal worth is more than a résumé point—it’s your mental anchor in the workplace. Professionals who lack this clarity are more vulnerable to manipulation. In our digitally driven world, where information is shared across social media platforms, the absence of self-awareness can leave individuals exposed. Others may define your worth for you, misuse your background, or even undermine your competence. When you know what you can do, who you are, and what you're capable of, ...

  Contemporary global movements toward gender equity have catalyzed both empowerment and resistance across diverse socio-cultural contexts. Within South Asian Muslim communities, clinicians are increasingly observing a rise in gender-based insecurity—not only among cisgender men but also among individuals across the gender spectrum. This paper explores the psychological dimensions of gender role evolution in such communities, with a particular focus on the tensions between religious values, cultural norms, and modern gender discourse. The discourse on gender equality continues to evolve across the globe. While many societies are working toward more inclusive frameworks that validate the rights of women and gender-diverse individuals (including those who identify as non-binary or use pronouns such as they/them), a parallel phenomenon has emerged—particularly within patriarchal structures: the development of identity-based insecurity, most notably among individuals socialized as cisg...