A Psychological Lens on South Asian Realities: Detaching National Identity from Constructive Critique

It's a research based blog (research in real life and social media by genuine contacts) By a Clinical Psychologist & Researcher of South Asian Societies


> Disclaimer: This is not a hate piece. It is a personal observation based on research, professional experience, and reflection. The intention is not to demean any nation or its people, but to promote honest dialogue for societal growth and healing.

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As a clinical psychologist, I’m trained to observe patterns—not just in individuals, but in entire societies. Patterns that repeat. Patterns that hurt. Patterns that get denied in the name of national pride.

Being a Pakistani, I have often been told that pointing out what’s wrong with Pakistan is betrayal. That if I critique my country, I must be comparing it to India—and if I compare it to India, then somehow the conversation becomes a competition of "who's worse?"

But that binary misses the point entirely.

Let’s start here: What is the difference between India and Pakistan? Just a border.

That’s it. A line on a map, drawn by political decisions and soaked in the trauma of partition. But the everyday realities of people on both sides—especially the underprivileged—are hauntingly similar.

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Mirror Images: Shared Social Struggles:

> "Aṭṭe mai choḳar idhar bhi parta hai, udhar bhi parta hai."

(Bran falls in the flour here, and there too.)


We give bribes here to get work done. So do they.


We search for "sources" or shortcuts here to cut lines. So do they.


We judge each other by sect, caste, or religion here. So do they.


We shame people publicly for having different opinions here. So do they.


Leaving Pakistan to go to India—or vice versa—isn’t escaping the problem. It’s often just changing the accent of the same dysfunction.

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Poverty’s Psychological Grip:

In both countries, poverty isn’t just economic—it’s emotional and structural. And ironically, those who can earn but live just above the poverty line suffer the most. These are the people crushed between inflation and expectations, between survival and dignity.

This emotional struggle is universal across South Asia. Whether it’s Pakistan’s urban poor or India’s rural laborers—the stress, uncertainty, and lack of support affect mental health, family structures, and social behaviors.

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Political Distraction as National Narcotic:

India and Pakistan often use each other as political scapegoats.

When one government is under pressure, they highlight the failures of the other. The media follows, the public joins in, and a collective delusion is fed:


> “At least we’re better than them.”


This is a dangerous cycle. In psychology, we call this externalization—blaming others so we don't have to deal with our own issues. It creates mass denial, and denial is one of the most difficult mental blocks to overcome—whether in therapy or in national consciousness.

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Creativity by Copy-Paste:


Even in the digital world, creativity is often imported, not cultivated.

Pakistani vloggers proudly showcase Chinese innovation. Indian YouTubers download and re-upload those same videos with monetization tricks. The ecosystem becomes one of replication over originality.

Where is the homegrown creativity? Where is the innovation that reflects our own soil, our own people?

It’s not a question of capability—it’s a question of focus. We are so busy beating or imitating each other, we forget to build ourselves.

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This Is Not Betrayal — This Is Awareness:


Let me say it clearly:


> This blog is not written out of hate. It is written out of responsibility.

I love Pakistan. Deeply. That’s why I speak. I do not want to live in denial.

I do not want nationalism to blind me into ignoring the obvious.

And no, I’m not saying “India is worse” or “Pakistan is better.” That comparison itself is the distraction.

What I am saying is: our issues are shared. And our healing must be shared too.

We need to stop weaponizing patriotism and start practicing self-reflection—as individuals, as societies, and as leaders.

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Final Thought: Remove the Mask, Start the Healing:

In both countries, the ordinary citizen wants the same thing:

Peace. Dignity. Opportunity. Fairness.

But that won't happen until we, as a region, stop competing in pain and start cooperating in healing.

So whether you're in Lahore or Lucknow, Karachi or Kolkata—if this piece makes you uncomfortable, I urge you to sit with that discomfort.

> Because healing doesn’t start with pride.

It starts with truth.

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About the Author:

The author Reema Ayub is a practicing Clinical Psychologist with a focus on South Asian identity, social behavior, and collective trauma. Her writing is grounded in therapeutic observation and research, and aims to create space for honest dialogue beyond borders.

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