Welcome to Reema Ayub's Writings

Telivision is a box that has the power to limit our imagination, much like a modern-day enchantment. It’s fascinating how we perceive magic as something fantastical—just a wave of a wand and miracles unfold. Perhaps, such magic did exist in ancient times. But in today’s world, magic is tied to the frequency and quality of our minds and the purity of our souls. Consider this: Why do innocent and pure-hearted individuals often see their enemies face unimaginable losses? It’s because those who understand the essence of magic know it stems from their purity and spiritual awareness. Through this purity, their souls naturally send karma back to those who wronged them. This is the cosmic law: whatever you give, you will receive, whether good or bad. For those aware of this, magic isn’t merely an abstract idea. It’s a deliberate energy exchange. However, magic demands a price, a payment in one form or another, particularly when used with malicious intent. History and stories tell of those who ...

Leadership is a privilege that comes with the responsibility to uplift, guide, and support others. When personal grudges or unresolved feelings influence professional interactions, it creates a toxic environment that stifles growth—not just for the team but for the individual as well. Choosing not to share knowledge or withholding assistance out of personal resentment reflects emotional immaturity and a blurred boundary between personal and professional life. True leaders separate their emotions from their duties, prioritizing the collective success of the team over personal grievances. If you find yourself using your position to belittle, bully, or manipulate others, it’s essential to pause and reflect. Is this behavior aligned with the values of a healthy workplace? Have you considered the long-term consequences of fostering negativity? Companies thrive on collaboration, and no one is indispensable—not even team leads or branch managers. The role you hold today is not guaranteed tomo...

In the intricate web of relationships that define our existence, one truth stands glaringly obvious: the moment we let go of our humanity, we regress into something primal, something less than human. The fine line separating humans from animals is the capacity for empathy, compassion, and a shared sense of purpose. Yet, as much as we celebrate these virtues, a darker truth persists—humans often derive satisfaction from pulling others down. This paradox is not merely an emotional lament but a psychological and sociological reality. The Psychology of Putting Others Down Research in social psychology has shown that belittling others can provide a temporary boost to self-esteem. According to the Social Comparison Theory by Leon Festinger, humans have an innate drive to evaluate themselves, often in comparison with others. When a person perceives someone as more capable, attractive, or successful, it may trigger feelings of inadequacy. To cope with these feelings, individuals often resort t...

Respect, at its core, is not something that can be demanded or manufactured by simply saying, “I respect you.” It is a profound, unspoken acknowledgment that emerges naturally. True respect resonates in the heart of another, born out of admiration for someone’s kindness, manners, and the genuine humanity they exude. When you truly respect someone, they feel it—not through your words but through your actions and tone. In our daily lives, we often misuse powerful words like sorry. We throw it around, not as an expression of genuine remorse but as a shield to escape the consequences of our actions. Consider this: when was the last time you apologized to someone and truly reflected on the mental or emotional harm you caused? Too often, our apologies are hollow, intended to smooth things over rather than repair the damage. The same applies to words like appreciate. How often do we use it as a polite way to dismiss someone? “I appreciate your effort, but…” becomes a subtle rejection instead ...

There is a moment in life when the quiet voice inside whispers, You are wrong. For those who are self-aware, this realization isn’t a revelation—it’s simply information. It’s not an epiphany that reshapes their world but a nod to the truth they’ve already seen lurking in the shadows of their conscience. Yet, even with this clarity, the world around us often reacts differently. There are people—loud, insistent, and often unrelenting—who take this moment of personal reckoning as an opportunity to impose themselves, not with guidance, but with an overbearing need to be seen as superior. They speak not to correct but to project, to drown out their own inner dissonance by pointing fingers at others. These are the ones who carry an inflated self-esteem, a fragile bubble filled with the ghosts of unhealed wounds. Their arrogance isn’t a mark of strength; it’s the residue of past traumas and the scars left by a life that withheld love when they needed it most. They may not realize it, but thei...

Mental health has long been stigmatized, misunderstood, and intertwined with misconceptions, one of the most damaging being the association of mental illness with criminal behavior. As a clinical psychologist, it is both my ethical responsibility and professional duty to address this misinformation with evidence-based insights. Mental Illness Does Not Equate to Criminality The idea that criminals such as rapists, murderers, and robbers are automatically "mentally ill" perpetuates harmful stereotypes about those with mental health conditions. Scientific evidence clearly delineates that mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and OCD do not predispose individuals to commit violent or harmful acts. Mental health conditions are neurobiological or psychological in nature, caused by a combination of genetic, environmental, and social factors. While individuals with mental health disorders may face challenges in emotional regulation, cognition, or...

As a clinical psychologist, one cannot overlook the devastating emotional and psychological impact of patriarchal narratives deeply rooted in Pakistani society. The phrase "chhoti si bhool" (a small mistake) is emblematic of this injustice, trivializing women's pain and framing their struggles as mere lapses of judgment. This narrative, designed to shame and silence, underscores the disposability of women’s autonomy, dignity, and worth in a culture that often prioritizes male dominance over female well-being. The Burden of "Chhoti Si Bhool" In Pakistan, women are frequently held to impossible moral standards. A consensual relationship, a premarital pregnancy, or even being a victim of harassment is labeled as a "mistake" for which women are solely accountable. The phrase "chhoti si bhool" is often weaponized to minimize the actions of men while amplifying the consequences for women. This doublespeak allows men to escape accountability while l...

Love, that ineffable emotion which transcends the bounds of reason, often feels like a divine madness—one that consumes the heart and commands the soul. But what if this madness has more to do with chemistry than with Cupid’s arrow? Emerging neuroscience suggests that the experience of love, particularly in its early stages, bears a striking resemblance to the mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This exploration seeks to blend science with the poetry of human emotion, illuminating the obsessive-compulsive nature of love. "Love is an endless act of forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." —Peter Ustinov The Obsessive Landscape of Love In the thrall of new love, the mind becomes a restless wanderer, returning time and again to thoughts of the beloved. This preoccupation feels euphoric, yet it is often paired with anxiety, insecurity, and an insatiable desire for closeness. These obsessive musings, marked by intrusive thoughts and compulsive actions, ech...

In our complex social world, interactions often involve subtle dynamics that shape relationships and outcomes. One of the most overlooked aspects of these interactions is the tendency to underestimate others based on superficial impressions. This psychosociological exploration delves into the dangers of such misjudgments, highlighting the psychological and social mechanisms at play. The Resilience of the Undervalued Individuals perceived as lacking confidence, decisiveness, or clear goals are often dismissed or taken advantage of in social and professional settings. Yet, this perception can be misleading. Psychology suggests that stress and adversity can activate latent problem-solving abilities and foster resilience. The concept of post-traumatic growth, explored in positive psychology, demonstrates how individuals facing significant challenges often emerge stronger, with enhanced capabilities. Underestimating these individuals ignores their potential to adapt and evolve. Neuroscienti...

 As a clinical psychologist, I have observed the profound psychological toll that gaslighting inflicts on individuals. When targeted at officers—whether in law enforcement, the military, or emergency services—the impact can be particularly devastating. Their roles demand resilience, clear judgment, and emotional stability, yet gaslighting can erode these foundational attributes, leaving officers vulnerable to mental health deterioration. Understanding Gaslighting: A Psychological Perspective Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation wherein individuals are made to doubt their perceptions, memories, and reality. This form of abuse is marked by subtle and sustained tactics designed to destabilize the victim’s mental and emotional equilibrium. Key features include: 1. Denial of Reality: The perpetrator dismisses or denies the victim’s experiences as false or exaggerated. 2. Blame-Shifting: Responsibility for outcomes or incidents is unfairly assigned to the victim. 3. Minimi...

Human beings are inherently social creatures, driven by an innate desire for connection, validation, and belonging. However, the complexity of societal norms and cultural expectations often creates a clash between individuality and conformity. This conflict is particularly pronounced when an individual's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors deviate from societal expectations. Such experiences can lead to emotional distress, social ostracism, or even trauma, revealing the intricate interplay between psychology and cultural dynamics. The Burden of Societal Norms Psychologists often refer to the phenomenon of adapting to societal expectations as normative social influence. This refers to the pressure to conform to the beliefs, values, and behaviors that are widely accepted within a specific cultural or social group. While conformity can foster cohesion, it often stifles individuality, particularly in societies with rigid patriarchal structures or deeply ingrained traditions. For example, ...

Romance, at its core, is not confined to fleeting physical gestures or the transient spark of attraction. It is the language of admiration, a dialogue of acknowledgment, and the art of knowing someone deeply. When people nurture hope and connection, they radiate it. Their inner beauty reflects in their glowing skin, their lively demeanor, and the warmth they bring to their relationships. However, the understanding of romance, connection, and societal norms often collides, especially in cultures where language, traditions, and values interweave in complex patterns. In Pakistan, for instance, the word "date" evokes images of intimate encounters, but its English counterpart carries a spectrum of meanings. This linguistic limitation often spirals into debates, as I experienced when discussing this term with friends. Our cultural framework struggles with these nuances. Pakistan is a land where societal expectations can interview the families of rape victims with relentless insensi...

In a world that often celebrates charisma over character and conformity over authenticity, walking the path of integrity can feel like traversing a solitary road. As a clinical psychologist, I have encountered countless individuals who, despite embodying virtues like honesty, innocence, and dedication, find themselves alienated, misunderstood, or outright rejected. This isolation often creates an emotional void, leaving them grappling with the profound pain of not belonging in a world they genuinely strive to contribute to. This blog explores the psychological underpinnings of such experiences and offers strategies to navigate the complexities of social rejection while holding on to one’s dignity and values. The Emotional Weight of Rejection For those who wear their honesty as a badge of honor, rejection can cut deep. The expectations of being valued or appreciated for their authenticity clash harshly with the reality of being ostracized or dismissed. This dissonance gives rise to a ca...

In the intricate labyrinth of human relationships, grudges are often the silent culprits that erode our emotional resilience and peace. Holding onto resentment not only strains our relationships but also burdens our psychological well-being. While some grudges are a response to genuine grievances, others stem from misunderstandings or a clash of perspectives. Regardless of their origin, their impact on mental health and personal growth is profound. Understanding Grudges Through a Psychological Lens From a clinical psychology perspective, grudges can be linked to cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that skew our perception of reality. When we hold a grudge, we may unknowingly engage in "black-and-white thinking" or "mind-reading," assuming the worst about the other person’s intentions or actions. This creates a cycle of negative emotions, including anger, bitterness, and even anxiety. Over time, these feelings can manifest as chronic stress, impacting both men...