Is Islam Only for Men? A Culture of Patriarchy in Pakistan

In Pakistan, a country deeply rooted in its cultural traditions and Islamic teachings, we often witness a stark contradiction: men’s selective morality. A woman proclaims "Alhamdulillah, I am unmarried," and suddenly, self-proclaimed custodians of Islam swarm her with accusations of defying Allah's will. These are the same voices that go silent when men exploit, degrade, and abandon women under the guise of love, wealth, and status. This double standard isn’t just a societal flaw—it’s a betrayal of the very principles of Islam, which emphasize justice, dignity, and respect for all.


The Culture of Hypocrisy

Where was Islam when a man promised love but instead took her virginity, leaving her broken and dishonored in a society obsessed with her "purity"?

Where was Islam when she was rejected for not being a virgin—a victim of the same man who violated her?

Where was Islam when men turned her poverty into a reason to refuse her hand in marriage, forgetting that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) married a widow and preached equality?

Where was Islam when she was mocked for trying to find a husband in a society where men were either unavailable or unwilling to take responsibility?


The hypocrisy is glaring. Men pick and choose Islamic values as they please, using religion to control women while ignoring their own obligations.


The Role of Culture and Psychology

The problem isn’t Islam—it’s the culture. Pakistan’s patriarchal society has twisted Islamic values to serve the interests of men. The ghairat (honor) narrative is designed to police women’s behavior while excusing men’s indiscretions. Women are shamed publicly for what men indulge in privately—pee open, kiss private.

Psychologically, this leads to a deep internal conflict for women. They are expected to uphold impossible standards of piety, purity, and submission while men face no such accountability. The result? Women internalize the blame, spiraling into guilt, shame, and, in many cases, depression. They silently "kill" their feminine selves, suppressing their desires, independence, and individuality.


Why Women Reject Marriage

When a woman accepts her circumstances, declares her independence, and chooses to remain unmarried, she isn’t rejecting Islam—she’s rejecting the toxic culture surrounding marriage. She has seen too much. She’s experienced the ridicule, the rejection, and the objectification. She knows the tables are always tilted against her.

Marriage in Pakistan isn’t always about companionship; for many women, it’s a lifelong battle to prove their worth. Men demand virginity, beauty, and obedience, yet bring nothing but entitlement to the table. When a woman says no to this, she’s not going against Allah—she’s preserving her dignity.


Islam Isn’t the Problem—Patriarchy Is

Islam is a religion of balance, compassion, and equality. But in Pakistan, the question remains: is Islam only for men? If so, why do its principles suddenly become invisible when men exploit women? Why does the burden of piety always fall on women?

True Islam doesn’t condone patriarchy. It doesn’t excuse men from their responsibilities or give them the right to judge women. It emphasizes justice (adl), kindness, and mutual respect. Yet in our culture, these values are often overshadowed by male-dominated interpretations that serve the interests of men alone.


The Way Forward

To the men who preach marriage as an obligation for women while turning a blind eye to their own shortcomings: start by holding yourselves accountable. Stop judging women for choices they’ve made after being let down by your hypocrisy. Islam is not a weapon to control women; it’s a guide to better ourselves.

And to the women who’ve been shamed, judged, and rejected: you are not less because you chose dignity over conformity. Your worth is not defined by men, their approval, or their selective interpretations of faith.

The tables won’t just shake—they’ll topple when women refuse to stay silent. This isn’t just about rejecting marriage or patriarchy. It’s about reclaiming Islam from those who’ve reduced it to a tool for oppression.


Is Islam only for men? Or will we, as a society, finally see the bigger picture?


Thank You for reading 🙏 🙏


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